Hecka's Items

Hecka Jef acquires and alchemizes a variety of items throughout the course of Cool and New Web Comic, both from his time traveling shenanigans and alchemization.

Many of these items were given to Dadd and Femorafreack.

Time Travely Nanchos
Nanchos that allow their user to travel through time. Hecka Jef uses these frequently to create stable time loops, creating multiple instances of himself at one moment to be a kind of one-man team. He has proven to be able to create fairly complex, and a careful viewer can even track his path in videos where he uses this item.

Given to Hecka Jef by a god-tier doomed version of himself.

Kissy Photo
A photo of Dabe kissing the head of Hecka Jef. A Dabe from a doomed timeline found the decapitated head of Hecka Jef, and was directed to kiss him in the hope of resurrecting him. However, as Dabe is not a player, this did nothing. Doomed dream!Hecka Jef saw this event through the clouds of Prostit, and took a picture of it.

This picture was then taken over to the alpha timeline.

Deudly Firearms
A gun.

Swet Bro originally owned it. He shot at Hecka Jef with it when he scared him once on Halloween.

Taken from Hecka Jef by Rose Lalonde.

Catcharoid Camara
Has the ability to snap a ghost image of an item and spits out and spits out a new captchacard.

This allows players to get the code for that item without acquiring it. This parallels the canonical Homestuck item, the Captcharoid Camera.

Photo of Labtop
A framed photograph of a laptop computer.

Created by combining the labtop with a framed photo of Swet Bro. This was done in the hopes that Swet Bro might live on, in robot form.

Swet Bro Cloths
A red version of Hecka's own outfit.

Hecka Jef created this after several failed attempts to resurrect Swet Bro through alchemy.

Its reminder hit him rather hard, making him break out in tears.

Weed Nanchos
Have no time traveling properties, but can get you high if you eat them.

The cost 4/20 material, a reference to cannabis culture. Hecka Jef immediately ate these after creating them to get high, keeping them a secret from Femorafreack.

Cloths that are made out of some nanchos
Useful for eating, wearing, and traveling through time.

And that's about it.

These are mostly redundant, as Hecka Jef can already quickly bring up his normal Time Travely Nanchos.

SUPER GUN!
It is super, and it's a gun, and that's basically what the deal with it is. Produced by combining two normal guns.

It fires a large single bullet, which Hecka used against Rose after she killed Swet Mom, but she simply blasted it away.

Endles Avenger
When it runs out of bullets, time reverses to reload it.

Hecka Jef combined this with his time travely nanchos to create many versions of himself at once, releasing a hail of bullets upon his enemies.

The cost is a reference to the various meme numbers of Homestuck, namely 413, 612, and 1025.

Nancho Milk
Nacho flavored milk that can increase your hydration.

Hecka Jef fed this to Femorafreack.

Clothputer
Hecka's outfit with a computer screen in the middle.

Looks similar to a Teletubbie costume.

Unreal Air
Several copies of a flying skateboard.

The original belonged to Swet Bro, who used to do cool tricks on it.

Hecka Jef uses this to fly above the battlefield.

Nanchotop
A laptop that can revert to a previous state or jump ahead to a future state.

It is operated by spinning the nancho next to the mousepad.

The cost is the meme numbers of Homestuck, but backwards.

Swet Modus
A stack modus that uses Swet Bro's face.

It's rather disturbing, even to Hecka Jef.

Hamcuffs
Two hams attached by a pair of handcuffs.

Hamhand
A replacement hand made for Dadd out of ham.

Serves as Dadd's current right hand.

Handgun
A replacement hand made for Dadd out of the Endles Avenger.

Presumably works the same as the Endles Avenger, but with the barrel also working as a finger.

Serves as Dadd's current left hand.

Fingercuffs
Handcuffs that lock fingers together, preventing their movement.

In Dadd's current possession.

Nunchuncks
Can be used to nunchunck people.

Gunchuncks
Can be used to gunchunck people.

Pollice Guncar
After the original pollice car was extinguished with a glass of water, it was combined with the Endles Avenger, allowing the car itself to mow down criminals.

Originally, the pollice car was upside down, so the Endles Avenger was used upside down as well to make this right side up.

Femorafreack tried to run over Jhon with this car, but was thrown off course by Jhon's power over wheels. The car flipped over and caught on fire once more.

Jail Sell
A simple cage.

Femorafreack used this to trap Rose, but she teleported out and placed Femorafreack himself inside it. Femorafreack was freed by Hecka Jef, who uprooted it from the ground, causing it to land on one of the Dadd babies.

Hydrolic Volley Gun
Shoots a shower of bullets all at once.

Badgetop
A police badge that works like a flip phone, exposing a screen and a keyboard to access Serious Busyness.

Pollice Femora
Femorafreack loved fedoras, but could not wear one while acting as a cop. By combining a fedora with his police hat, he is now within the law.

Femorafreack made dozens of copies.

Hat
The most perfect hat in all of creation, the hat which defines all hats. Later eaten by Hecka.

Somehow, this ended up in the possession of Papaya Lesbyam.

Mindporber
Created by Rose Lalonde. This item allows the user to directly observe the internal thoughts of another person, apparently taking from the Freudian psychology influences of its creation.

The body of the telescope has many tentacles attached, and a purple lining around the lens shaped like the Mind aspect.. Before the end of the world, it may have revolutionized the field of psychology, but without anyone to try it on, it may not pose particularly useful.

Rose was able to utilize the Mindprober to predict some of Hecka Jef's attacks. However, she dropped it when a group of doomed Hecka Jefs ganged up on her, and Hecka took it into his possession.