Jack Noir


 * This article is about the pre-scratch kids' Jack Noir. For the instance of Jack that appears in the trolls' session, see Spdaes Sleck.

Jack Noir is an agent of Derse who appears in every session of Sburb. He oversees various affairs of the kingdom and does all of the most important and most tedious paperwork, and is the direct subordinate of the King and Queen.

He is the second character introduced to not be affected by the corruption. He's mostly ignored it, seeing it as one more irritation in a terrible world, and continued to do his work. Now that he is in cahoots with Rose, he's exploring his opportunities a bit more.

Derse
As per usual, Jack was in charge of the paperwork and used four fenestrated walls to observe various affairs. His fourth wall however was stolen some time ago. He grew resentful of the Blapck Quen, and began making plans to overthrow her.

While out in Derse, Hrates Bocars points out Jhon and Dabe kissing on a roller coaster. He ordered AR to handle it and went back to his paperwork. He noted things seemed "even more terrible than usual", but blamed this on the new outfits. By the time he had returned to his fourth wall-less cubical of vigilance, he was certain that the issue was deeper than that. Still focused on his work, Jack used one of his walls to find the Whyte Quen floating alone at the edge of the Incipispherel. This appeared to be an opportune time to take power for himself, although he soon found the throne was now held by Jaed and defended by a powerful dog.

When AR informed Jack he had failed to kill the humans, he orders AR to capture the Whyte Quen instead. Jack then summoned his other subordinates to handle the rest of the humans, ordering Dacronian Dignity to send the adult human to a better place, Rubs Juice to put the girl and dog that had taken the Prostit thrown to rest, and Hrates Bocars to take care of the blond kid on LODAR. Jack himself left to kill Jhon.

Land of Light & Froges
Jack arrived on LOLAF, his ship crushing Momi. Jack prepared to fight Rose as he stepped out, but they quickly realized they were both normal and called a truce.

Later, Jack wandered LODAR, stabbing as many frogs as possible. When Jhon began construction on his cool and new parck, Jack also began stabbing the pink turtle consorts and imps that arrived. When he spotted the Merry Go Hornses ride though, he gave in to his guilty pleasure, killed the ticket stand attendant, and got a free ride. This infuriated Jhon, who began continually increasing the speed of the ride until Jack was flung off. He hurtled towards Rose, who held up her hands in defense.

Using some sort of time power, Rose froze Jack in place, safely stepping out of his way, then catching him with her telekinesis. Shortly after, they approached Bg'ogubmom'ibulsprite and a grimdark AR. Jack asked for an update on White Queen, but found he had been possessed by the horrorterrors. Jack demanded the report regardless, and stabbed AR for his noncompliance. AR used a tentacle to begin choking Jack, but released him at Rose's request. Begrudgingly, AR informed him that his other agents knew where Whyte Quen was.

After stabbing everything in sight, being satisfied that's he's prevented any possible frog breeding, Jack returns to plotting the Blapck Quen's demise and remembers he ordered his underlings to kill Rose's friends. He calls them to cancel the order, but finds they misunderstood his commands anyway. RJ reports that the Blapck Quen is attacking Prostit however, so Jack decides to make his move against Derse, leaving a note behind for Rose.

King of Durst
Jack storms the throne room and ascends to become the new monarch, tearing off his old uniform. Jack manipulates the people of Durst, blaming the old queen for all that was wrong with the planet, and he prepares the armies of the nation to move against her. To deal with the White King and Black King, he poses as the newly elected Mayor of Durst and convinces the Warweary Villein to assassinate them and bring back the Black King's crown. Having sufficiently dealt with the monarchs, he leaves to go awaken Rose's dreamself.

Jack crashes his ship into Rose's dream room. His minions inform him of the Blapck Quen's defeat, and AR brings him the Blapck Kink's crown. Jack takes Rose to LODAD to fight Hecka Jef. Jack sees that Dacronian Dignity has sided with Hecka, but is unable to convince him to leave Dadd. Instead, he calls upon the army of Durst to assist him. The fight breaks out, and Jack stabs one of the Babys. When Fresh Dark Germy³sprite looks at him funny, he stabs him in the face, destroying his left major eye, but is caught by his tentacles. Unable to rely on Dacronian Dignity or Hrates Bocars, he instead calls on the support of Rubs Juice, but he is unhelpful. Instead, by a stroke of luck Jack is released when Jhon crashes the Obanacopter into FDG3. Free, Jack hits Dacronian Dignity over the head with a baby until FDG3 teleports them away.

Personality and Traits
Jack has always been a no-nonsense character, so being thrown into a world that is nothing but nonsense infuriates him, and in the case of the Blapck Quen's prototyping, even terrifies him to the point where he doesn't want to deal with her directly. This of course does not mean he's halted his plans to overthrow her or put himself into power of course, as he is perfectly willing to use underlings to do his dirty work. While treacherous, Jack does have some sense of honor. He refuses to damage his knives in respect for the tools of his trade, and stopped trying to kill Jhon after he established a truce with Rose. This stands in contrast to his alternate-self Spdaes Sleck, who unhesitatingly stabbed his own knife.

Jack considers his truce with Rose to be a somewhat antagonistic temporary alliance, which is synonymous with friendship. He is willing to help Rose deal with the Corruption, but doubts he could do much useful. He is impressed with her intelligent approach to the issue, but will continue to work at setting himself up as ruler.