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Ham is a type of food, apparently of great importance in CaNWC.

The first command Jhon Ebgret received after being named was to "retrieve hams from door," which parallels the first command of Homestuck as "Quickly retrieve arms from drawer." Since then, hams have made several appearances at inappropriate places, and have some kind of undefined social import.

Jhon's Hams[]

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Location Found Jhon's door

Jhon received two hams from Dadd when he was created via ectobiology. Jhon then presumably kept these two hams inside of his door, somehow, for thirteen years, entirely in secret. He then shook the hams in the air while dancing, which is obviously incredibly dangerous, then flattened out a cake, wrapped the cake in it, and ate it. He then fed his second hamcake to Nic Cage on his Con Air poster.

Dadd's Ham[]

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Location Found Ectobiology machine

Dadd discovered three hams inside an ectobiology machine in the Veil that someone had rudely hidden there. Only rude people would hide hams like that. He gave two of these to Jhon, and used one of them to replace one of his hands.

These were used to make hamcuffs and hamhands.

Spdaes Sleck's Tiny Hams[]

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Spdaes Sleck keeps two hams under his hat instead of Scottie Dogs.

These hams are, of course, ridiculously small, and where exactly they came form isn't clear. Are they Jhon's hams shrunken down? Is there a ham based candy that is all the rage on Alternia? Is this a dumb thing to be speculating about? Probably.

Whyte Wordes Guy's Ham Pillow[]

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Location Found Harold's Green Moon

Whyte Wordes Guy has a pillow with the picture of a ham on it.

Joojoo Hamcake Hat[]

1620

On the Land of Joojoos and Vrasky, several caucasian Iguana consorts are found in "trickster mode," all wearing Hamcakes on their head. It's unclear whether this is merely a hat, a juju, or a byproduct of trickster mode.

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