Heckacious Jeferey, better known as Hecka Jef, is one of the main characters of Cool and New Web Comic, and the third player of the human session. He is best friends with Swet Bro and Dabe Stidrer, who wrote a webcomic based on their lives. He uses the chumhandle anonamousVengance when chatting on Pesterchum, although he originally used the name starecaseCircupspection.
Hecka Jef has sworn a vendetta against Jhon Ebgret, who murdered Swet Bro. To this end, he's recruited several people in his quest for justice.
Hecka Jef is the "Mus of Time," which has let him gain several time based powers, as well as an intuitive understanding of those powers, as well as knowledge of events more generally by observing the Prostit clouns. He presides over the Land of Darknes and Ruses (LODAR).
Biography[]
Childhood[]
Hecka Jef was created in an incestuous slurry of ectobiology slime by Dadd. Notably, Dadd had created ghost imprints of Swet Bro, Hecka Jef, and Swet Mom, but interrupted the process halfway. This makes Swet Bro and Hecka Jef their own fathers.
AND NOW YOU ARE BANGING HER
During the Wreckining, baby Hecka Jef was teleported onto a meteor along with the Uber Bunny, and travelling beside Swet Bro, Dabe, and Germy. They all land in Houston, Texas and grew up as best friends. Dabe writes a webcomic about their adventures, presumably making all of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff canonical.
At some point, Hecka Jef's dreamself on Prostit awakens, allowing him to learn the secrets of the past and future from Prostit clouns. This is presumably how he also learns about Rose, despite never having met her before the start of CaNWC.
Pre-Entry[]
In mid-March 2009, Swet Bro and Hecka Jef take Dabe to Washigon to live with Jhon. One month later, Swet Bro and Hecka are taking their final exam in Biig Man's sport class before they plan on heading to Jhon's birthday party and then play Sburb. Borp arrives to take there, and uses his puppet Lil Cal to cut off Biig Man's leg, who had wanted to delay them. Biig Man then becomes possessed by L
rd English through the puppet, who kills Borp. Swet Bro and Hecka then walk to the airport while Germy heads back to their house.
On April 13, they arrive at Jhon's house, but Jhon kills Swet Bro by throwing a pickaxe out his window. Horrified by Jhon's violence, Hecka Jef calls the police and flies home. Thanks to his dreams, Hecka knew that Jhon would be in their Sburb session, allowing him to enact his revenge. But he would need a coplayer to begin. Hecka Jef first made an offer to Jhon directly, but Jhon refused. Hecka Jef instead offers to play with Rose, who reluctantly accepts.
Hecka Jef arrives in Houston, and meets Femorafreack. Since they are both looking for Jhon, they team up, and Femorafreack gives Hecka Jef a ride home. Hecka Jef deploys Rose's Sburb items for Momi to complete, and prototypes her grimoire. Germy prototypes himself, becoming Germysprit. Hecka Jef's cruxite object is the BIG GAME, requiring him to slam dunk a basketball while blindfolded. He succeeds, and he and everyone in his home are teleported to LODAR.
Entry[]
Hecka Jef warns Rose about the stairs, as well as informing her about his backstory, his dreams, and his plans to kill Jhon. As he is still tired from jet-lag though, he goes to sleep immediately afterwards. His dreamself awakens to Jaed shaving her legs over his face. He goes for a walk around Prostit, but is arrested by the guards for refusing to wear fur, which was required by law under Jaed's rule.
In a doomed timeline, Femorafreack blows up Hecka Jef's home, killing him. This ultimately leads to Jaed destroying all of Prostit. In his cell, dream Hecka Jef takes a picture of a cloud showing Dabe kiss his corpse and escapes his cell. He steals one of the Prostit ships and goes to his quest bed at the center of Prostit's moon, where he dies.
The Mus of Time.
He ascends as a godtier Mus of Time, granting him Time Travely Nanchos. He goes back to seconds before the bomb's creation and carries it away. The doomed Hecka Jef meets up with the alpha Hecka Jef, who also time travels in, and hands off his own nanchos and picture to him. He then dies in the explosion. The doomed Hecka awakens in a dream bubble and finally reunites with Swet Bro. However, he is soon killed once more by Lrd English.
Alpha Hecka Jef is awoken by his future self, who gives him the time nanchos. He creates several time loops, including the one he just did to get the nanchos in the first place. He eventually leaves his home to find that LOLAF is on a collision course with LODAR, as Femorafreack had put the planet under arrest, preventing it from orbiting Skya. He orders Femorafreack to un-arrest the planet, allowing it to continue.
Hecka Jef reenters his house to have sex with Swet Mom. When he sees that Dabe is speaking to Kraket, he interrupts their conversation to tell Kraket how much he hates him. Kraket takes this as caliginous flirting, which confuses Hecka.
Hecka then explains his plan to the group to rally them against Jhon and Rose. He receives a necklace from Fresh Whyte Germysprite, allowing him to summon his sprite. A mysterious voice speaks in Hecka Jef's head, but he ignores it. Hecka and his forces then practice fighting imps and getting their material. Hecka ascends the Heckaladder to the rank of "Meta Man" for his efforts.
Hecka contacts Rose and begrudgingly admits that he needs Rose to continue playing Sburb. He gives her Gristorrent so that she can leech off of Jhon's excess supplies. Rose informs Hecka Jef that Jhon is dead, which initially overjoys him, until Rose also tells him of her plan to resurrect them. Hecka rebukes her for helping a murderer and for thinking so little of other people.
Thrown into a rage, Hecka began destroying items around his home until Femorafreack calmed him down. Declaring Rose to be the "master mind" behind Jhon, they plot to fight her as well and stop her plan to "erase" them all, referring to her planning against the Corruption. To this end, they alchemize various items.
Hecka eats his hat and keeps Femorafreack from flirting with Swet Mom. He resummons Fresh Dark Germy³sprite, directing him towards LODAD to stop Jhon. Hecka uses a Durst ship to arrive on LODAD himself, but is intercepted by Rose.
They fight, trading blows. Hecka takes Rose's mindporber, but she takes one of his guns. Rose proves to be better equipped, the better strategist, and the more powerful player. She kills Swet Mom, and then destroys Hecka's left arm and eye. FDG3 sees this, and then teleports Hecka and his forces to safety.
Personality and Traits[]
Hecka Jef worked as the foil to Swet Bro's straightman, often cracking jokes at his expense or playing pranks on him with clever ruses. Despite this, they did have a deep and abiding friendship, and Hecka is left stranded without his other half. He is extremely dedicated in seeking vengeance against Jhon, and flies into fits of rage at people who block his path.
Hecka Jef is very interested in sports, especially basketball, and is a big fan of the Big Man. This also extends to any kind of gaming in general. His name also has "heck" in it, which is a word only badasses like Spdaes Sleck can say without censorship in CaNWC, so he's probably pretty hardcore.
Mus of Time[]
Hecka Jef has the mythological title of Mus of Time
A Mus, or "Muse," is one of the two master classes, and the most passive of all classes. Passive classes are affected by their aspect, embodying it and sharing its benefits with their team, so a Muse does this most of all. A Hero of Time on the other hand are relentless fighters, people that value action over passivity, and focus heavily on the end and goal of their action. Put together, this implies a figure constantly pushing others towards their own goal, which they pursue zealously.
This is embodied in Hecka Jef's vendetta against Jhon Ebgret. Hecka is not quite so concerned with any great narrative for CaNWC, but is primarily motivated by his own sense of justice and anger. He's gathered many like minded individuals to help him in this as well, giving him friends rather than merely allies.
His mastery of time is also evident in his innate understanding of all things time related. He has a natural talent for time travel and instantly understands the need to create stable time loops. His understanding of time is also greatly expanded thanks to his dreams of Prostit, where the various 'clouns' reveal a small glimpse of the past and future.
Trivia[]
- Hecka Jef's IP address is 41.36.121.025, a combination of 413, 612, and 1025, the arc numbers of Homestuck.
- Hecka Jef started typing in Swet Bro's color as a way to remember him.
- When Hecka Jef ate his hat, it was a callback to o's promise to do so if this page wasn't interactive.
- Hecka Jef's "labtop" is destroyed during his fight with Rose, which parallels the destruction of o's own computer.
- Hecka Jef's loss of his left arm and eye parallels Vrasky's loss of her own left arm and left eye.